#5 - First Golf Tournament - May 26

I am mostly right handed but sports oriented in my left hand which has always been my main excuse for never playing golf. I attempted it many years ago due to frustration of the men taking a golf day or playing with clients, etc., while the women held the office together. But no one ever had clubs for me to use and I couldn't manage to swing right, so my efforts ended without a fight. Then the child bearing and raising years extinguished any glimmer of a thought of golf and pushed it even further away into the way-back pile and teetering on the never-ever pile.

But, last year, after being laid off :( from a great job, I grabbed a set of women's lefty clubs at a tag sale and signed up for lessons with a friend. Even when I put my kids in lessons, they never seemed to get any further than the driving range, and here I was, week after week, trying to smash balls as far as I could – which wasn't very far – but never playing the actual game. However, once people hear that you are taking lessons, they all want to play with you.

In the fall, I was invited by pals Barry and John to play at the GEAA and then I invited Wayne to play at Cranwell with a gift certificate I had won. We played for fun and didn't really keep score of the 9 holes but I do know that in bowling, my score would be coveted. Dave asked me continuously but I refused repeatedly because golfing with him would be like playing basketball with Michael Jordan. It would make my inabilities seem like disabilities.

Now almost 7 months later, Dave asked me to play in a tournament to which I promptly said no. Then I said no to his text and no to his email. He even had Amy from his office call me and entice me with free stuff, good food, sunshine, and beer. Alright, already! But don't have any expectations of me!

May 26, 2010 – The Pittsfield Rotary Club Golf Tournament at the Pittsfield Country Club
Team CompuWorks: Dave, Joe, Amy, Marianne
Format: Scramble

I was excited to finally wear my pink/brown/white plaid shorts and pink top but sadly the thermometer forced me to rethink my choice and 3 outfits later, I had on a sleeveless collared top and loose quick-dry shorts. I dug my clubs out of the garage and tossed them into the car. I remembered that Wayne had done some club swapping so I wasn't even sure what I had in my bag but was excited to find a sweet hot red driver. Perfect.

When we got to the club, we collected bags of tees, raffle tickets, 2 cases of beer mugs (I have no place for these!) and Dave bought each of us a Mulligan. A Mulligan is a 'do-over' card. I was thinking that I would like at least 18 of these. Dave wanted to hit a few balls but I just wanted to go see what was for lunch. Yum – fajitas, homemade guacamole, assorted salads, fresh brewed ice tea, and cookies.

We loaded our cup holders with cold bevies and took off down the path to hole #14. Teeing off feels a little like being on stage. I don't mind being on stage when I know what I am doing but this is different. People who are much better than me looking at my stance, my grip, my swing, and all making comments that are going to have absolutely no effect at this point. We each hit our ball and, ironically, seemed to choose Amy's as the best ball more often than not. I don't think mine was ever used. I am usually pretty good at putting but Dave was in the putting zone (good thing because his driving was way off!) and I didn't even get a chance to putt on most holes. Luckily, I have no golf ego and if I had any at all, it was gone after 8 holes in 90 degree record heat and humidity. I much preferred sitting in the cart sipping ice tea. When we got to putting green #1, the sprinklers went off – Amy and I took the opportunity to run through the refreshing spray. Hole #8 was by the water as were the cottonwood trees. The fairway was filled with big fuzzy white seeds which made it impossible to find your ball. Joe and Dave both lost their balls, Amy's was dead center, mine was hot pink. #8 was also a turtle crossing so we had to watch where we were driving.

After many of my shots, I called “Mulligan!” but I soon realized that this Mulligan was not going to be played by me and that it actually had a street value. We made par on most of our holes and I ended up selling my Mully back to Dave as my contribution to the score. The very last hole was birdied thanks to a beautiful putt by Amy. I screamed for joy in solidarity for my female teammate but mostly because this torture was over and cold brew and hot buffet awaited.

It's now been a week since I played in that tournament and got this blog completed. If I had finished it last week I probably would have summated that golf is torture and I just don't get the appeal. But the pain and exhaustion have worn off and I suppose I am looking forward to playing again in a less pressured situation, fewer holes, and actually counting my strokes so that I can work to improve. I love being outside and the Berkshire scenery is amazing – that could just get me to come back again. But frankly, I still don't really get it. Maybe I should stick with the pole dancing....?