#3 - Meeting Japanese Rotarians - May 6

Konnichiwa!



“What happens at Gail's, stays at Gail's.” That was the story last time I had dinner at Gail's. I warned everyone that I would be blogging this event but that didn't stop them (and Gwen wasn't even there!)….

The Pittsfield Rotary Group Study Exchange received 5 guests from Japan for a few weeks in New England – this week was Pittsfield – and tonight was “ladies night” at Gail's. Gail hosted 3 women from Japan; Mika, Nana, and Tama; and 12 women from Pittsfield (the boys took their guests golfing).


I had so many questions for these ladies but the Americans far out numbered them which made it difficult to address my list. During appetizers of nuts, artichokes, spicy green beans, and mini quiche, Nana told us that she thinks American men are more gentlemen-like than Japanese men. She also thought that our generation had more male/female equality than her mother or her grandmother.

Nana 松岡 奈々 was recently married which gives her more 'power' in their culture than being a single woman. She has married a man about 22 years her senior and a very well to do auto parts manufacturer. Nana is a dentist. They take a trip (usually business related) every month and recent excursions have included Hawaii, Dubai, and Egypt.

The single women, Mika (landscaper) and Tama (massage therapist), told us that there are functions that they are not allowed to go to without a male escort. And the women in Japan must walk behind the men. They think that men holding doors for women in the US make them way more attractive and gentle and I suggested they stay a little longer before coming to conclusions.

These women felt that their generation was somewhat equal to men but definitely not their mother’s or grandmother’s generations.

The ladies were dressed very similar to us but can wear Kimonos out whenever they prefer in Japan. Nana loves kimonos but Mika would rather wear them only to special events like weddings and funerals and the like. Nana shared pictures from her wedding and Mika helped explain the costumes. Brides wear a traditional wedding kimono called shiromuku (white kimono robe), and grooms wear montsuki (black formal kimono). In a traditional Japanese wedding, the brides hair is also styled in the traditional hair style called bunkin-takashimada and adorned with beautiful gold combs and accessories called kanzashi. A white wedding hood called tsuno kakushi is meant to hide two front golden "tsuno", or horns, during the wedding ceremony to symbolize obedience. Ya lost me here. The horns symbolize jealousy and selfishness - attributes that should not be displayed at a wedding in front of the groom and his family. It symbolized her resolve to become a gentle, obedient wife. For the record, I clearly displayed my horns at my wedding so there would be no surprises in the years to follow.

All the ladies are staying at big homes with gorgeous acreage – very different from their small apartments in Tokyo. Mika is planning to ride a horse at the farm she is staying at and Nana was stunned to see a deer on the lawn of Gail’s house. This resulted in a lively discussion of Berkshire wildlife that has been recently spotted: bob cats, black bear, beaver, fox, wild turkey, and deer. The ladies began to giggle and speak to each other in Japanese. Finally they revealed that they thought the topic was hysterical as they never have such sightings in Japan – only cats and dogs and many of them are road kill. Tama was glad she hadn’t seen any “skanks” which we soon realized meant “skunks” – I told her there were plenty of skanks around if she wanted to see some.


Foreigners always make me feel stupid with their knowledge of many languages (and how we Americans struggle with just one). Nana said English is taught starting in middle school but it is not easy to retain since only Japanese is spoken in Japan. She took more English classes as an adult. Their lettering is the same as Chinese but Chinese is very different and they are not able to speak it. She also said that they are not very comfortable around foreigners because they grow up in such a pure Japanese environment.

After dinner, and a few glasses of wine, everyone was comfortable enough to get to the real questions. Nana stood up and announced that there are several American shows that they watch with great interest. One was “The L Word” which I have never seen but it revolves around west coast lesbians and the shenanigans of their daily lives. The women were very surprised that Massachusetts allows gays to marry as it is still kept somewhat hidden in Japan. The next was “Desperate Housewives” and finally, with great excitement, “Sex and the City” with “Carrie Bradshaw”! These shows allow them to learn English and American culture – good grief! What about “Little House on the Prairie”???

So…..one particular episode stuck out for these sophisticated ladies of the Orient. When Carrie and her posse spent a week in LA, Carrie scored an appointment with "the city's premier [bikini] waxer to the stars." Carrie later complained to her friends that she had been “mugged” and felt like a “hairless dog.” Samantha informed Carrie that this was known as a “Brazilian wax” and warned her that it is known to make her do crazy things. Miranda added that it is popular in LA because “the men are too lazy to go looking for anything.”


Now then, Nana, of course, wants to know if this really is popular amongst American women and while I rapidly shook my head side to side with a long low “NooooOooo!” some of the other ladies were up and down with “Uh huh.” WHAT?? While no one was forthcoming with any personal details, Courtney, our teen representative, said it was very popular with teenage girls. WHAT?? They barely got it – now they want to remove it? I don't understand.

Jen wanted to know if I had ever had anything waxed. No. Eyebrows? No. Legs? No. Bikini? No. Folks, I just had my first pedicure 2 years ago – let’s ease into this! Jen said “we must get yee to a waxer!” Guess what? I saw the wax scene in the “40 Year Old Virgin” - Kekkou Desu! (NO Thank You!!)


Steve Carell gets waxed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w91ARapNx-c

The following evening was another party at Gail’s with all the delegates attending as well as several American Rotarian families. We were treated to Japanese specialties cooked by our new friends: miso soup, Japanese noodles, okonomiyaki (Japanese pancakes), onigiri (rice balls), and daikon (large radishes). In turn, we treated them to a camp fire and S’Mores.

My time with these visitors was way too short. I was just beginning to bond with Nana and friends and it was time to go. There is so much to learn about each other’s lives and cultures and I feel that I had just barely wet my appetite. But I am glad for the experience and another opportunity to complete a 50x50. Tomorrow is another day….


Domo Arigato!!