#4 - Mother's Day Race - May 9

I was the fastest girl in the 6th grade at Anna M. McCabe Elementary School. I was selected to represent the school in the 50 yard dash at Field Day competing against the other elementary schools in the area: Raymond LaPerch, William Windsor, and Old County. This meant way more than the end of year 5th grade Spelling B where I tied David Surprenant for the win. No one could catch me – years of running away from 5 brothers who wanted to pulverize me for any or no reason at all was about to pay off big.



I was in a fog of self-imposed pressure at the starting line in a ragged pair of hand-me-down Keds. Usually I ran barefoot at home because shoes never fit me right. I couldn’t even tell you who I was racing against. I could see the finish line – right there – just 50 yards away – not far at all – I can do this! Ready! Set! Go! As the adrenaline rushed from head to toe and I took a colossal breath and clenched my teeth, my foot slipped on the lousy gravel track and in a fraction of a second, my view was of several fannies getting away from me. I didn’t lose, but I didn’t win either. I was crushed. My racing career ended that day quicker than it began.

Fast forward 40 years and I am on the starting line again. The pressure is a little different this time. I am not going to win and have no chance of it but I risk becoming an even bigger dork because I am running with my kids - teens.

When I started this 50x50 blog a month ago, I thought my daughters would be the last to sign up – they didn't really get it and they don't make great efforts to spend lengthy amounts of time with me. But when people started signing up and coming up with cool ideas, Becca surprised me by asking me to run the Women's Running Race on Mother's Day with her. I was very surprised for several reasons:

1. I didn't think she wanted to do anything with me (after all she is nearly 18 which means you suddenly become independent, abundantly intelligent, and rich)

2. I don't run. I don't like to run. I don't run.

3. I had secretly hoped that Mother's Day would be spent at some kind of Belgian Waffle mimosa fruit cornucopia crispy bacon type of all you can eat palace.

I had no choice but to say 'yes' exuberantly. She only gave me a little more than a week’s notice which made getting ready for this arduous 2.1 miler a true challenge. Becca and Andrea have been running since they were little. Their daddy started signing them up for kid's races early on and he now runs a girls summer running club. Track Club

Becca made varsity XC for 4 years and ran track for 3. Andrea is the sprinter on her track team but she does not like distance (neither do I). I always feel like I could get there much faster on my bike. I made some efforts to go out for walks and jogs, hit the treadmill once, half hour on the lateral thigh trainer, but it was really hard with working, cooking, band, band parties, concerts, and socializing with Japanese Rotarians.

As luck may have it (?) Becca was out way too late the night before the race and didn't sleep well and Andrea decided to join us but only if we mix lots of walking with the running. Whew!! This just might work! On race morning, we woke to wind and flakes and I instantly regretted this decision. Andrea made me an English muffin, since time was short, and the three of us grabbed hoodies and gloves and headed to the start. Dave was already there with camera and stop watch in hand as he was the official race timer (don't you think he should have been home making me an omelet?). We got in line with 200 other women ranging in age from infant to 80. Bang! Run! We were off but immediately decided we should save our energy for the crowd of spectators up ahead. I thought the middle of the pack was a good place to be and had my eye on a few women I refuse to be beaten by but the stroller infants were way too fast. We ran past the on-lookers (mostly men) and smiled for our shots before moving into a quick stroll for the long hill.

This is Becca's last few months at home as she gets ready for college and life beyond. I should be proud of the daughter we raised and the job we've done but, actually, I feel cheated. I'm not ready to let go and be done. I am aching for the days when I could throw them in the car and head to the beach with a cooler lunch and make sand castles all day. My role now is handing out cash and rides and yelling “lock the door!” from my bed when the last one comes home. She is struggling to break free and I am latching on. However, that action creates friction and friction makes sparks and sparks ignite and “Holy crap! When the heck are you leaving?!?”

We crested the hill and felt a sigh of relief as the rest of the race would be much easier – mostly level and some gradual downhills. I hope that's how the next few months will go, but I know better. The last half mile was a smooth slope and we ran the whole rest of the way in - crossing the finish line together. Bittersweet.

As we waited for the results, knowing there would be no hardware for any of us, I noticed a young mother standing with her family. She looked to be in her 20's and was holding the hand of her 1 year old daughter while using all other available limbs to rock the 3 carriers on the floor holding her newborn triplet daughters. They were all perfect and beautiful and I overheard her telling someone that she never sleeps. I suddenly felt completely unworthy of exploiting this mother's day and wanted to offer my help to this overwhelmed young mother. If I had any advice to give her at all, it would be to cherish every moment, the good and the bad, because it all goes by in a flash.

xo

Mom

#3 - Meeting Japanese Rotarians - May 6

Konnichiwa!



“What happens at Gail's, stays at Gail's.” That was the story last time I had dinner at Gail's. I warned everyone that I would be blogging this event but that didn't stop them (and Gwen wasn't even there!)….

The Pittsfield Rotary Group Study Exchange received 5 guests from Japan for a few weeks in New England – this week was Pittsfield – and tonight was “ladies night” at Gail's. Gail hosted 3 women from Japan; Mika, Nana, and Tama; and 12 women from Pittsfield (the boys took their guests golfing).


I had so many questions for these ladies but the Americans far out numbered them which made it difficult to address my list. During appetizers of nuts, artichokes, spicy green beans, and mini quiche, Nana told us that she thinks American men are more gentlemen-like than Japanese men. She also thought that our generation had more male/female equality than her mother or her grandmother.

Nana 松岡 奈々 was recently married which gives her more 'power' in their culture than being a single woman. She has married a man about 22 years her senior and a very well to do auto parts manufacturer. Nana is a dentist. They take a trip (usually business related) every month and recent excursions have included Hawaii, Dubai, and Egypt.

The single women, Mika (landscaper) and Tama (massage therapist), told us that there are functions that they are not allowed to go to without a male escort. And the women in Japan must walk behind the men. They think that men holding doors for women in the US make them way more attractive and gentle and I suggested they stay a little longer before coming to conclusions.

These women felt that their generation was somewhat equal to men but definitely not their mother’s or grandmother’s generations.

The ladies were dressed very similar to us but can wear Kimonos out whenever they prefer in Japan. Nana loves kimonos but Mika would rather wear them only to special events like weddings and funerals and the like. Nana shared pictures from her wedding and Mika helped explain the costumes. Brides wear a traditional wedding kimono called shiromuku (white kimono robe), and grooms wear montsuki (black formal kimono). In a traditional Japanese wedding, the brides hair is also styled in the traditional hair style called bunkin-takashimada and adorned with beautiful gold combs and accessories called kanzashi. A white wedding hood called tsuno kakushi is meant to hide two front golden "tsuno", or horns, during the wedding ceremony to symbolize obedience. Ya lost me here. The horns symbolize jealousy and selfishness - attributes that should not be displayed at a wedding in front of the groom and his family. It symbolized her resolve to become a gentle, obedient wife. For the record, I clearly displayed my horns at my wedding so there would be no surprises in the years to follow.

All the ladies are staying at big homes with gorgeous acreage – very different from their small apartments in Tokyo. Mika is planning to ride a horse at the farm she is staying at and Nana was stunned to see a deer on the lawn of Gail’s house. This resulted in a lively discussion of Berkshire wildlife that has been recently spotted: bob cats, black bear, beaver, fox, wild turkey, and deer. The ladies began to giggle and speak to each other in Japanese. Finally they revealed that they thought the topic was hysterical as they never have such sightings in Japan – only cats and dogs and many of them are road kill. Tama was glad she hadn’t seen any “skanks” which we soon realized meant “skunks” – I told her there were plenty of skanks around if she wanted to see some.


Foreigners always make me feel stupid with their knowledge of many languages (and how we Americans struggle with just one). Nana said English is taught starting in middle school but it is not easy to retain since only Japanese is spoken in Japan. She took more English classes as an adult. Their lettering is the same as Chinese but Chinese is very different and they are not able to speak it. She also said that they are not very comfortable around foreigners because they grow up in such a pure Japanese environment.

After dinner, and a few glasses of wine, everyone was comfortable enough to get to the real questions. Nana stood up and announced that there are several American shows that they watch with great interest. One was “The L Word” which I have never seen but it revolves around west coast lesbians and the shenanigans of their daily lives. The women were very surprised that Massachusetts allows gays to marry as it is still kept somewhat hidden in Japan. The next was “Desperate Housewives” and finally, with great excitement, “Sex and the City” with “Carrie Bradshaw”! These shows allow them to learn English and American culture – good grief! What about “Little House on the Prairie”???

So…..one particular episode stuck out for these sophisticated ladies of the Orient. When Carrie and her posse spent a week in LA, Carrie scored an appointment with "the city's premier [bikini] waxer to the stars." Carrie later complained to her friends that she had been “mugged” and felt like a “hairless dog.” Samantha informed Carrie that this was known as a “Brazilian wax” and warned her that it is known to make her do crazy things. Miranda added that it is popular in LA because “the men are too lazy to go looking for anything.”


Now then, Nana, of course, wants to know if this really is popular amongst American women and while I rapidly shook my head side to side with a long low “NooooOooo!” some of the other ladies were up and down with “Uh huh.” WHAT?? While no one was forthcoming with any personal details, Courtney, our teen representative, said it was very popular with teenage girls. WHAT?? They barely got it – now they want to remove it? I don't understand.

Jen wanted to know if I had ever had anything waxed. No. Eyebrows? No. Legs? No. Bikini? No. Folks, I just had my first pedicure 2 years ago – let’s ease into this! Jen said “we must get yee to a waxer!” Guess what? I saw the wax scene in the “40 Year Old Virgin” - Kekkou Desu! (NO Thank You!!)


Steve Carell gets waxed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w91ARapNx-c

The following evening was another party at Gail’s with all the delegates attending as well as several American Rotarian families. We were treated to Japanese specialties cooked by our new friends: miso soup, Japanese noodles, okonomiyaki (Japanese pancakes), onigiri (rice balls), and daikon (large radishes). In turn, we treated them to a camp fire and S’Mores.

My time with these visitors was way too short. I was just beginning to bond with Nana and friends and it was time to go. There is so much to learn about each other’s lives and cultures and I feel that I had just barely wet my appetite. But I am glad for the experience and another opportunity to complete a 50x50. Tomorrow is another day….


Domo Arigato!!

#2 - Pole Dancing Class in CT - May 1

In April 1979, I was a grill cook at the McDonald's in Smithfield, RI. I was actually a 'certified' McDonald's grill cook which meant I had been tested and interviewed on all things grill and could train others to be as great. Working as the smiling, cheerful greeter and cashier was Susan B. and on a particular day that spring of '79, I decided to say hi to her and a friendship was instantly born.

Sue and I were very similar – both worked at McDs, both started at Rhode Island College, both drove Scamps, and we were both a bit shy with a certain level of untapped reserve. For some reason, when we got together, the reserve was uncorked and you might as well have been adding a little baking soda to a cup full of vinegar. We erupted...

During the course of many years, we both married Daves, both moved out of RI, both had two children (she had two boys, I had two girls and our two oldest will graduate high school this year), and we both lost touch. Once she moved to CT from NH, I called her on her birthday a few years back and we picked it right up again. Now we try to plan a few eruptions throughout the year.

When I announced my 50x50, Baking Soda thought hard to see what she could get Vinegar to do. I reminded her that this was not a triple-dog-dare kind of event but rather like step-outside-your-comfort-zone and have a new experience with an old friend. So, inspired by a Teri Hatcher visit to Oprah, Sue suggested (keep an open mind till the end) that we take a Pole Dancing class. I said yes immediately (after saying no to her first suggestion).

Filled with buyers remorse, we searched the internet and called the studio for information and to make comparisons about ourselves vs other potential clients. We decided that we were at least in the bottom section of the upper half. Deep breath, let's do it.

Sue drove us from bucolic Colchester to seedy downtown Hartford. Inside 'Pole Control', we had to fill out forms with personal info and a contact person – in case of injury. We were hesitant to give addresses and phone numbers because we still felt that we were in the midst of a drug deal or signing up to work the nearest corner. Why did this feel so dirty?

Amy took us into the studio and got us warmed up. It was only Sue and I as two other young women who arrived without an appointment were sent away. We have yet to figure this out. Amy had us rotate our necks and stretch our backs and legs to help prevent injury. The studio had a wall of mirrors and several, perhaps 9, poles throughout the room. We picked the 2 in the back, of course.

Ashley, a certified pole instructor, came in and suggested we remove our flip flops. We did not bring our stilettos which meant we had to stand on our toes the entire time. This, in and of itself, was a workout that took great efforts to maintain. Standing on your toes allows your walk to be sexier, apparently. Try it. Ashley was was cut – her arms looked like that of a steal worker and abs were hard and defined with an inked butterfly splayed across them. Sue and I simultaneously sucked in our baby pouches.

First lesson was the three main hand positions. Make a mitt with fingers close together and thumb outstretched. Grab the pole above your head for position #1. Even with your head for position #2 and at your hip for #3. She turned the music on and “Big Spender” played as we gyrated our hips and got back on our toes. We moved to position #1 and did the “sexy cat walk”around the pole. Lift your legs high like you are riding a bike and push your hips out on the way down. The pole actually rotates with you which makes it a little easier to make great big sexy circles. The wall of mirrors was becoming a problem, though.

The next move was the “chair.” Arm in position #1. Sexy walk around the pole to a count of seven then bring the other arm to #2 and lift your legs to a seated position while swinging around the pole. Doesn't that sound easy? Suddenly, I felt like 300 lbs of dead weight – how did I get so heavy? And the circulating around the pole made me want to puke! This is hard! Back on your toes, sexy walk to seven, lift, swing, point your toes! OMG STOP! The room was spinning! Sue was on the floor laughing, Ashley was telling us how good we were doing and how we should definitely think about taking more classes.

Next we had to learn the Ballerina: Sexy walk to seven, leg perpendicular to the pole, wrap your knee around it, position #1, position #2, swing, head back, smile, heavy, dizzy, fingers slipping, falling...hands are burning!

Now the fireman position. We are not contortionists which made this more difficult than pretending to be ballerinas. Arm snakes around the pole as does the thigh, loop foot around bottom of pole as you swing, head back, NO! What? Show me again. Slower, one more time.

Ashley said we were her best students and it was time to put it all together 5, 6, 7, 8, walk, #1, chair, toes, ballerina, walk, toes, sexy, fireman, twirl...Ashley was now upside down halfway up the pole as Sue and I were still picking ourselves up from falling off our imaginary sexy chairs. Where does my thigh go for fireman? Which hand for ballerina? It was hopeless – hands burning, bodies getting heavier, and so so dizzy. I prayed that the 50 minutes were up and we didn't have to learn about astronauts or try to go upside down. I really was hoping for that on the way over but now I knew it meant a certain phone call to my emergency contact if we so much as attempted it.

Sue and I took some pictures, grabbed a t-shirt and hat and ran out before our parking went to another hour or smooth-talkin Ashley could get us to sign up for the advanced level. We sat in the car for a moment numb and nauseas and surprised that we had just endured such a grueling workout when we thought we'd just be learning a few knew household tricks. We also realized that there would be no opportunity to showcase our new skills or practice and perfect the fireman. So, I guess our pole dancing days started and ended all in the course of 2 hours.

I think if it wasn't for my incredible inability to keep from getting nauseas when I even watch someone twirl, I would consider Pole Dancing as an excellent way to regain my upper body strength. I lost it all after having shoulder surgery from a ski accident a few years ago. I would love to have arms like Ashley but, luckily, there are no pole classes in Berkshire County – I'll have to stick with Zumba for now.

We drove home with grins and giggles, glad we did it but knowing that we would probably never go back or ever be able to show our stuff (you should all be grateful). Therefore, it will remain a moment in time between two old friends and another 50x50 mission accomplished. So, the only thing left to do after an intense workout like that was to head over to Harry's Famous Drive-In in Colchester for the best burgers and fries served road side!